Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Silver Threads Among the Gold

Does everybody wind up with slick fingers with no finger prints? I have a terrible time holding on to things, especially those huge soft drink cups you get as a medium size at fast food places. And look out when I try to pick up something with wet hands, it's headed to the floor.

Another question, does everything you eat give you gas? It seems as though whatever I eat soon gives rise to a huge gas bubble, generally when I'm in a crowded space. Of course, the problem is worst with the foods I like best.

If your mind goes blank when you begin to speak of a person you know well, is it an indicator of the onset of Alzheimer's disease? I'll be talking merrily along and all of a sudden -nada, nothing, a complete blank- and after mumbling around for a while it comes back.

When did bowel movements become so important? A good bowel movement becomes an event. When I was younger BM's were a regular part (no pun intended)of your daily routine, something you were hardly aware of, they just were. Now, you feel as though you should shout from the roof tops, man, you should see it.

When did doctors become specialists? I have a family doctor (now called a primary care physician), a nephrologist, a dermatologist, a neurologist, an orthopedist, actually, for a while I had separate knee doctors, one for the right knee and one for the left, and my opthamologist. I would have a dentist, but I have false teeth so there is not much of a need there.

When did music from the 60's and the 70's become golden oldies? Golden oldies should be from the 30's and 40's. And when did chanting some bad poetry to a beat become "Pop Music", I can't even tell what they are saying so I don't even know if they're shouting obscenities, but it sure doesn't sound like music to me.

When did bedtime become something you looked forward to instead of something you fought? "All nighters" now mean you made it through the entire night without having to get up and going to the bathroom. And we brag about it; "well, I only had to go to the John once last night." Speaking of bedtime, it is mine, so good night all.

Oh yeah, how many of you say, "bye bye" at the end of a telephone call?


Anonymous said...

I used to think the symptoms you describe were only found in old folks but, in the last few years, I've discovered that even I have them.


Anonymous said...

These symptoms are only the result of extened hard work, age is not a factor unless you consider how long it took to get there.